The Death of Empathy and the Rise of Violence: Turning to Our Lady of Sorrows
By Liah Ostrom
I was lost, scared, and full of fear. At just twenty years old, it felt as though my entire world had been turned upside down. My past, my present, and even my future seemed meaningless. Everything I once believed in had crumbled. My heart had grown numb to love, and I allowed my trauma and abuse to define me and dictate my worth.
It wasn’t until I opened my heart to Jesus Christ through Mary that I experienced the love and compassion of the Catholic Church, love that later led me to my conversion. No matter what our testimonies or journeys may look like, the moments when we encounter true love and empathy never leave us.
What Is Empathy and Why Does It Matter?
Empathy, as Merriam-Webster defines it, is “the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experiences of another.” But it’s more than a definition, it’s the heartbeat of authentic love.
Why is empathy important? Because it allows others to feel understood, appreciated, and seen.
A World Without Empathy
Today, when it feels as if our country and world are collapsing under the weight of violence and hate, we have to ask: what is fueling this fire? At its root, it is a lack of empathy.
When empathy is absent, the human heart becomes numb, and numbness always paves the way for violence. Without the ability to see the other as someone, as a child of God, we begin to see them as obstacles, enemies, or even disposable.
This past month alone, we have witnessed lives torn apart by senseless violence: families grieving, children caught in the crossfire, entire communities shattered. These tragedies are the bitter fruit of a culture that has stopped asking, “How would I feel if that were me?” In its place, anger, ideology, and self-interest have taken over.
The Dangers of Numbness
Lack of empathy is dangerous because it blinds us. We stop noticing the suffering that does not touch us directly. The death of a stranger becomes just another headline. We argue over sides and politics instead of mourning lost lives.
Without empathy, the dignity of the human person is forgotten, and when dignity is forgotten, violence is justified.
The Christian Response
As Christians, we cannot allow this numbness to seep into our souls. If we do, we risk becoming part of the very cycle we condemn, through either indifference or division.
The Cross calls us to a different way. Christ never turned His gaze away from human suffering; He entered into it fully. And Mary, Our Lady of Sorrows, teaches us how to stand at the foot of every cross, to share in the pain of others rather than turn our backs.
The “Doctor of Empathy”
St. Edith Stein, also known as St. Teresa Benedicta of the Cross, has often been called “the Doctor of Empathy.” Before becoming a Carmelite nun and martyr, Edith was a brilliant philosopher who studied the nature of empathy in depth. She taught that empathy is not just feeling sorry for someone, it is the ability to step outside of ourselves and enter into another’s experience without losing sight of the truth. For Edith, empathy was essential for authentic love and for truly recognizing the dignity of every person. Her life embodied this teaching: she carried the sufferings of her people during the Holocaust, uniting them with the Cross of Christ. In her, we see that empathy is not an abstract idea, but a path to holiness, one that allows us to see others through the compassionate eyes of Christ.
What Would St. Edith Tell Us Today
I think St. Edith Stein would remind us that the root of today’s violence is not only political or social, but spiritual, it begins with a failure to recognize the dignity of the other. She believed empathy was essential because it allows us to step outside of ourselves and see the world through another’s eyes. Without that, people become faceless, and when people become faceless, it becomes easier to harm them, ignore their suffering, or justify violence. She would tell us that true peace can never be built on ideology or force but only on the foundation of empathy, rooted in Christ. And, as one who gave her life in solidarity with her people during the Holocaust, she would urge us not to turn away from suffering but to enter into it with love, offering prayer, sacrifice, and presence as a witness against hatred.
A Call to Young Women
To my sisters in Christ: empathy is not weakness. It is a holy strength that reflects the heart of Jesus. As young women, the world often tells us to harden ourselves, to numb our emotions, or to compete with one another. But Christ calls us to something radically different, to let our hearts be open, compassionate, and willing to carry the burdens of others.
Empathy doesn’t mean we solve every problem or carry every cross alone. It means we notice, we listen, and we love. When we practice empathy, we become living witnesses of Christ’s tenderness in a world desperate for hope.
Practical Spiritual Habits for Growing in Empathy
Begin with Prayerful Listening
Each day, ask the Holy Spirit: “Whose suffering do You want me to notice today?” This small prayer prepares your heart to see the invisible and hear the unheard.Pray the Rosary Through the Lens of Empathy
When meditating on the mysteries, place yourself in the shoes of those present. Feel Mary’s sorrow in the Passion, or the disciples’ joy at the Resurrection. This practice opens your heart to experience faith as a shared story, not just a private one.The Examen of Compassion
At night, reflect: “Where did I see Christ in someone today? Where did I fail to notice Him?” This habit slowly trains you to see every human being as worthy of dignity and attention.Choose Presence Over Distraction
When a friend is hurting, resist the urge to offer quick fixes or empty words. Sometimes the most empathetic thing you can give is your time and your attentive silence.Offer Small Sacrifices
Unite inconveniences, disappointments, or frustrations with Christ for someone else’s intention. This simple act makes empathy tangible, you’re not just feeling for others but acting on their behalf.
Our Lady of Sorrows, Our Model of Empathy
How fitting that September, a month scarred by so much violence, is dedicated to Our Lady of Sorrows. She is the perfect example of empathy, one who does not run from suffering but embraces it, and through her motherly heart, points us back to Christ.
Empathy may seem like a small thing in the face of such overwhelming violence and division, but in reality, it is the very soil in which peace and unity grow. Every time we choose to listen instead of argue, to comfort instead of condemn, to see Christ in someone instead of dismissing them, we push back against the darkness.
Our Lady of Sorrows shows us that true strength is found not in hardening our hearts, but in allowing them to be pierced with the sufferings of others. If we live this way, we will not only transform our own lives, but also become a light of compassion in a world so desperately in need of it.
“One cannot truly understand the suffering of another unless one has suffered oneself; yet in Christ, we are invited to carry one another’s burdens through love.”